“The default assumption about ADHD is that it’s what makes little boys disruptive. But it can also make little girls feel like they’ll never be good enough.”
Imagine trying hard – so very hard – yet still being told you’re too easily distracted, need to stop daydreaming, should focus and apply yourself so you can succeed.
Sometimes, you’re hyper-focused on a certain topic and lose hours to it; at other times, your attention is everywhere and nowhere. It’s like having too many tabs open on your browser or “watching a train whizz past you while you’re trying to read the text on the side and make out faces in the windows.”
Staying on track seems so easy for everyone else, so you internalise the sense that something must be wrong with you. The constant effort to mask your symptoms, fit in, meet expectations and just try harder creates significant internal struggles. These may be expressed as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, burnout or eating disorders (rates are 4 times higher among people with ADHD).
Such experiences are all too common among women with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), especially those who were not diagnosed until later in life.
So, how common is ADHD among women? And what delays diagnosis and treatment?
The true prevalence of ADHD in women
Research now shows that ADHD affects both men and women at similar rates, yet diagnosis is still heavily skewed towards males.
Clinical referrals in boys typically exceed those for girls, with ratios ranging from 3-1 to 16-1.
How does ADHD present in women?
The stereotypical image of ADHD is of a boy who can’t contain his energy, can’t sit still during class, and makes rash, impulsive choices that regularly get him into trouble. Because this boy’s behaviour is disruptive, it gets noticed and, eventually, someone suggests an ADHD assessment.
That’s the hyperactive type of ADHD. But girls (and some boys) are more likely to have the inattentive type. Here, the hyperactivity is mostly within the brain – their behaviour is often fine (they’re often people-pleasers). These kids are often smart and articulate, clearly knowledgeable on topics that interest them, yet their school marks may not reflect their obvious intelligence and their social connections may be more tenuous.
Why ADHD is underdiagnosed in women
ADHD in women is not rare. It’s simply been overlooked, with significant consequences for women’s mental health, relationships and wellbeing.
So why are women being missed? One word: presentation.
As noted above, ADHD signs in women often look different to those in men. Rather than outward hyperactivity, women may:
- Daydream often and struggle with focus
- Feel overwhelmed by daily tasks
- Be highly sensitive to criticism or stress
- Struggle with emotional regulation
- Appear highly capable but feel like they’re barely holding it together.
This internalised presentation of ADHD can easily be mistaken for anxiety, depression, or simply being scatterbrained. Thanks to long-standing social expectations, many girls are conditioned from an early age to be good, quiet and helpful so they mask their symptoms until things become intolerable.
Check out
MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel
The impact of late diagnosis
For many women, an ADHD diagnosis comes after burnout, parenting struggles, or a career crisis. By this point, years of undiagnosed ADHD may have already taken a toll on education, self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. There are productivity impacts too – a 2019 Deloitte study reports that adults with ADHD take an extra 16 days of leave from work each year.
As one woman with ADHD writes, “On the outside I was resilient, on the inside I was getting blacker, darker, sadder, my inner critic crueller. Why couldn’t I ever finish something I started? Commit. Do what everyone else does, live on the treadmill of life, just conform.”
As another late-diagnosed woman writes, “…burnout is what happens when the mask slips. Your entire world comes crashing down, and you don’t have the executive function to figure out which way is up.”
The impact of diagnosis
Receiving a diagnosis of ADHD can involve a complicated jumble of feelings. Women report grieving for their misunderstood younger selves and experiencing self-compassion rather than self-blame.
Writing two weeks after her diagnosis at age 25, this woman says, “I feel relieved. I now understand that my brain is structured differently and know myself better. I can try to release some of the shame I have been carrying for all these years. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a neurodivergent person living in a world built for neurotypical brains.”
A new path forward
At Neurofit Brain Centre, we understand the unique challenges of female ADHD. That’s why our therapies are designed to support women who are navigating life with late-diagnosed or previously unrecognised ADHD.
Using neuroplasticity-based programs, are designed to support brain function and may help with focus, organisation, and emotional regulation. Our fun, engaging therapies combine in-clinic and at-home exercises, offering a holistic and supportive approach.
We don’t diagnose ADHD (as an adult, you’ll need to see a psychiatrist for that) but we do provide personalised therapy programs to help support ADHD symptoms.
Disclaimer
All information is general and not intended as a substitute for professional advice.
References
- Noelle Faulkner, The Guardian, The lost girls: ‘Chaotic and curious, women with ADHD all have missed red flags that haunt us’
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/nov/02/the-lost-girls-chaotic-and-curious-women-with-adhd-all-have-missed-red-flags-that-haunt-us, [Accessed 12 June 2025] - Eating Disorder Hope, ADHD as a co-occurring disorder with eating disorders, https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/co-occurring-dual-diagnosis/adhd,[Accessed 12 June 2025]
- Muhammad Faheem, Waqas Akram, Hadiqa Akram, Mahtab Ahmad Khan, Faheem Ahmed Siddiqui, Imtiaz Majeed, Gender-based differences in prevalence and effects of ADHD in adults: A systematic review, Asian Journal of Psychiatry, Volume 75, 2022, 103205, ISSN 1876-2018, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ajp.2022.103205, [Accessed 12 June 2025]
- Young, S., Adamo, N., Ásgeirsdóttir, B.B. et al. Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach providing guidance for the identification and treatment of attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder in girls and women. BMC Psychiatry 20, 404 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ajp.2022.103205, [Accessed 12 June 2025]
- Deloitte, Social and economic costs of ADHD in Australia, https://aadpa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Economic-Cost-of-ADHD-To-Australia.pdf, [Accessed 12 June 2025]
- ADHD and Women, My name is Kit and I have ADHD, https://adhd-women.eu/blog/my-name-is-kit-i-have-adhd/#, [Accessed 12 June 2025]
- ADHD and Women, The road to female ADHD diagnosis is a lonely one: what I learned from being diagnosed at 25, https://adhd-women.eu/blog/the-road-to-female-adhd-diagnosis-is-a-lonely-one-what-i-learned-from-being-diagnosed-at-25/, [Accessed 12 June 2025]
